A Letter To My Nora Rose

Dear Nora, This week you start kindergarten. Last night I lay in bed for a long time unable to sleep. I thought of you wearing your new “tan” (as you say) school uniform, sitting in that classroom, in that big new school with new teachers and new friends and new experiences and the image startled … Continue reading

Riverside

Home is a funny thing. For me, as a child, there was first a place, a set of people: they were home. And home meant unbreakable, unshakeable, unwavering. And then it was gone. Broken, shaken, wavered. Later, as a teenager, I had it again for a while. Our home was ours. My room was my … Continue reading

Little Wild Horse

In the aftermath of these struggles with Nora when I am feeling bruised and beaten and drained of all resources, having dug deep into the dark recesses for any reserve patience I might have – that’s  when I remember my grandmothers, my great-grandmothers, my seven-year-old self. And when I remember, I realize that all of … Continue reading

Autumn

There is nothing to write about and everything to write about. Most days lately I’m in awe of my life. I walk past my home and stop to admire it as though it were something I long for and then I realize – this – this is mine. While standing inside, I watch the light change … Continue reading

Five

Alternate Title: Before The year I turned five they sent me to run an errand. Perhaps I was supposed to get a stick of butter or pick up that book the neighbor borrowed or tell them we needed to use the party line. I don’t remember the exact errand but I remember dawdling on my way … Continue reading

Same Old Story, Different Ending

Today I’ve been cold, borderline passive aggressive, and angry with my children. Yesterday I spent most of the day cleaning out a small creepy dark crawl space in my daughter’s room and transforming it into a magical “fairy space.” This involved cleaning and painting, purchasing lumber and cutting it to size, covering the walls with … Continue reading

Hiatus

I left my home once in the middle of some self-induced drama.  Feeling so adult and self-righteous, I walked out the door with a few boxes and my then bright-red suitcase filled with only the beautiful things in my life.  This was before children, before I truly understood the importance of paying bills on time, … Continue reading

The Seedy Underbelly

Earlier today, totally off the cuff I posted the following on a message board for mothers that I’m a part of: Lately I’ve been exploring the idea of quitting motherhood as I have known it. I’m sick of being everyone’s maid/servant/lady-in-waiting. I think prior to motherhood I had this idea of having a child to … Continue reading

Rose Marie & Anton

After my grandma Rose died, I received some letters that were written to her by her high school boyfriend who enlisted in the Army in 1942. I received the letters with awe as though they were the key to unlocking grandma’s true personality – the one none of us knew because we were too integral … Continue reading

Fishing

She is one of those beautiful girls with long gorgeous hair. Naturally sexy, dark, straight, thick, shiny. Every girl lusts after it and when they comment- which they do- she gives a shy, dreamy smile & mentions that she is thinking to cut it. They reject the notion loudly, “It is too beautiful to cut!” … Continue reading